I was born and raised in Lafayette, Louisiana. I’m twenty seven years old and I’ve never lived anywhere else. I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately and it inspired me to create a list of the things I’ve learned from living in Louisiana. Here goes…
Trees and power lines are at their most beautiful when covered in Mardi Gras beads.
We would all be obese if crawfish and king cake weren’t a seasonal thing.
We love having an excuse to drink: Mardi Gras, Christmas, Thanksgiving, President’s Day, MLK Day, “snow” days, negative pregnancy tests, we ran out of booze, there was a sale on booze, there was booze where booze should be, drinking because eating quesadillas topless at 2 am are definitely my #lifegoals right now…it’s all a celebration.
A “snow day” in Louisiana just means there will be enough ice on your car or on the ground to form a miniature half ice, half mud snow man.
New Orleans is simultaneously amazing and awful. It’s beautiful and disgusting. It’s a dream and a nightmare. You have to visit it but I wouldn’t recommend living there.
Hurricanes are dicks. Once a hurricane has destroyed enough things, the name is basically retired for future Louisiana babies. No one names their daughters Katrina here anymore.
Living on a parade route during Mardi Gras is a pain in the ass but also lots of fun. If you have responsibilities AKA a job, it may be nearly impossible to get there or get back home. On the bright side, you have the best parking spaces for parades and don’t have to walk far to see them. Sometimes you can even watch from your yard, if you’re lucky.
The Cajun accent is not attractive…it is comedy gold though, as proven by Gaston Hebert.
If I ever have to hear another Boudreaux and Thibodeaux joke it will be too soon.
If Louisiana weather could be described as a mental disorder, it would be bipolar. Within the span of 24 hours, our weather can go from hot to cold or sunny to thunderstorms and then partly cloudy. Then we’re suddenly under a tornado watch. Our weather has zero chill.
I’m pretty sure no one knows how to pronounce this street name, much less spell it without looking it up: Tchoupitoulas.
Zydeco music destroys my brain. I can’t stand it.
I thought it would be fun to hear the perspective of my friends and family who also grew up in Louisiana, so here are some of my favorite quotes from them:
“Don’t trust anyone who doesn’t boil Fabuloso on their stove.” – Jackie Traigle
“Do not wipe your eyes or give handjobs after eating crawfish.” – Kassandra Rushing
“Waist like a wasp, ass like a horse” – Jessica Dalrymple
“Louisiana has quite possibly the dumbest people per capita in all of the United states.” – Karen Nicole Rachael Myers (Sidenote: Karen spelled Louisiana wrong in her quote and I had to fix it. I found it ironic and hilarious.)
“Living in Louisiana has exposed me to new and interesting ideas. As a Wiccan who spent a majority of my teenage years in New Orleans, I learned not only more about Wicca, but also voodoo, which thrives here. I think that we have Salem beat in the “magic” department. On the other end of the spectrum, the Michoud assembly facility in New Orleans is developing the Orion space capsule, and the SLS rocket system for manned Mars travel, and Livingston hosts part of the Ligo array that detected gravity waves recently. Louisiana is good but odd mix of old religions and practices while also hosting some of the most advanced technology in the world. I mean, Mars rockets? All we need is Matt Damon….” – Jobe Wright